Internet Dating is for Losers

So I will admit that I have begun to do some internet dating. It has proven to be totally fruitless and a general waste of my time. But it does not lack in pure entertainment. I tell people crazy stories about internet dating but they don't believe me. So I am going to provide some examples of the crazy that I attract.
First we will start with my favorite. One guy who wrote to me had three pictures of himself. One of them was shirtless, one of them was in a wifebeater, and the third was him with a girl who forgot to put the twins away. Now which picture does he think will hook the girls????? In his profile he wrote that he is a writer but his personal paragraph had some very bad grammar. Maybe he is a writer for English as a Second Language Magazine. He said - I am very good looking and I am looking for a girl who is a virgin and has saved herself for me. I had to reread that sentence a few times also...... Again- that is totally gonna get the girl.
Sometimes people write very strange e-mails to me. In my profile I mention that I like to take boxing classes at the gym. Last night an "interesting" looking fellow e-mailed me two words - "wanna box?" I thought if I just ignored him he would leave me alone. Nope. Below is a copy of the message he sent me.

Subject: I'm well read, I know long words like ubiquitous, obsequious and obsequies and I
Message:
Let's just go out we don't necessarily need to box. I have a tatoo of the playboy bunny on my toe. I'll show you for a kiss.

Maybe this is boy speak- but in girl speak it means: DANGER WILL ROBINSON!! DO NOT ENGAGE!!!!


EVERY INTERNET DATER'S EXPERIENCE

Another moron e-mailed me and in the first e-mail insulted my picture....
Other people write to me as if they have known me forever and just pick up in mid-sentence. SO... I went to the movies today.... by the way how are you?

And my mother wonders why I am single?